I’m reading a book on decluttering and came across this particular piece of advice that seems applicable to just about all areas of life:
This book is not telling you that you “should” do this or “should” do that but it explains how keeping clutter can affect you so that you can make your own informed choice about it from here on in.
“Should” is one of the most disempowering words there is. When you use it you feel guilty and obligated. My advice is to dump the word from your vocabulary forever and use the word “could” instead.
Feel the difference: “I should start clearing my clutter today” or “I could start clearing my clutter today.” “Could” empowers you, gives you choice, and later allows you to take the credit for a job well done. “Should” depresses you, makes you feel at fault, and brings you little joy on completion of the task.
I suggest you also dump “can’t” and substitute “won’t.” Then you’ll really make some progress. Again, feel the difference: “I can’t decide whether to keep this or let it go” or “I won’t decide whether to keep this or let it go.” In the “can’t” example, you are helpless and hopeless. In the “won’t” example, you are expressing your decision as a being of free choice, and if you then ask yourself why you won’t let it go, you will discover it comes down to some subconscious block you never realized you had: “I won’t decide whether to keep this or let it go because it brings up all the feelings to do with my mother/father/spouse…” and so on. Well, there’s still work for you to do, but at least you are being honest now.
I think it’s probably a good idea to take this advice. What other words should (oh, wait, could!) I be substituting?
in your conclusion you used probably! I took the whole jist of the article to be make a decision and recognize the limitations with it. probably isn’t a decision, its a maybe. it …IS… a good idea is a better conclusion. =)
Sound advice.
Life is about choices.