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This is a very interesting topic an i am tempted to post a comment. Here’s my interpretation of the incident:

Before i go into detailing my interpretation, lets look at some Biblical facts that can help us understand this chapter better:

[1] Although the Lord loved both Mary & Martha (John 11:5), Mary was closer to Jesus than Martha:

[A] There is no mention of Martha following Jesus from Galilee during His crucifixion.
However, Mary has been described as one of the “many women” who followed Him from Galilee to Golgotha. Notice how the Gospel writers, in this case Matthew & Mark, can recollect only three names worth mentioning from the “many women”, while narrating this incident. Mary happens to be one of them in two different narrations by two different gospel writers – Matthew 27:56 & Mark 15:40

[B] Mary followed Joseph to see the place where Jesus’ body would be laid to rest – Mark 15:47. Mary sat (in all probability grieving) against the sepulchre of Jesus along with Jesus’ mother (Mary) after He had been laid to rest – Matthew 27:61

[C] Mary visited Jesus’ tomb along with His mother (Mary) – Again this verse has no mention of Martha – Matthew 28:1. After the sabbath was over, Mary bought sweet spices to anoint the body of Jesus – Mark 16:1. Ditto. Martha’s missing again.

[D] The angel of the Lord first disclosed the message of Jesus’ resurrection unto Mary – Matthew 28:7

[E] Jesus first appeared unto Mary after His resurrection from the dead, even before He appeared unto the twelve disciples – Matthew 28:9 & Mark 16:9

[2] Mary truly loved the Lord with all her soul, giving Him the first place over everything else. Martha on the other hand, was distracted and occupied by external things – i.e. “the cares of this world” – Luke 10:41

[3] Mary had received a conferred blessing from the Lord – Jesus Himself promised that His love and manifest presence (in the form of the anointing of the Holy Ghost that was to come after His death burial and resurrection) called as the “good part” in this verse, would never be taken away from her – Luke 10:42

[4] Mary had a stronger testimony than Martha – She had been delivered from seven evil spirits that had possessed her – Mark 16:9 & Luke 8:2. There is however no real mention of Martha being touched by the power of the Lord in any way in the gospels.

[5] Mary was chosen as the first witness of the resurrection of Jesus Christ – Luke 24:10. Lets think about this for a moment. Why did God almighty choose a woman as the first witness (who would later be used to testify unto others) of the resurrection of His son? Don’t mistake my opinion as being anti-feminist. We must understand that during the life, death & resurrection of Christ, the testimony of a woman held no sanctity in a court of law, as women could be easily bought with money and made to testify falsely. So what exactly was God’s rationale behind choosing a woman, and that too one who was outside the circle of the handpicked twelve that Jesus had begun His ministry with? How did God expect a woman – in the days when their testimony was not even admissible in a court of law – to overcome the plans that the Jews had already formulated against preventing any news of a resurrection from breaking out among Jesus’ followers?

True to anyone’s expectations, Mary’s testimony was rejected by the twelve – Mark 16:11
In fact, Luke describes the twelve’s interpretation of Mary’s testimony as “idle tales” – Luke 24:11

However, few people realize that Mary was actually a vital eye witness of Jesus’ ministry on earth. She was one among the “certain women” that Luke describes as the followers of Jesus Christ, who went about with Him in every city and village as He preached and performed the works of God – Luke 8:2

Mary was of stronger conviction than the twelve – As blasphemous as it may sound to some orthodox Christians (and Catholics who venerate the saints), Mary had not only seen the miraculous works of Jesus, but witnessed a powerful deliverance (from demonic possession) in her own life. This made her conviction and faith stronger than the rest, to the tune that she knew that Jesus would ‘never’ fail her.

It was exactly this firm belief that was tested to its limits during Lazarus’ death. Mary was deeply saddened when Jesus did not come to see Lazarus in his time of sickness. Instead, Jesus chose to ignore Martha and Mary’s immediate call for help, staying in the exact same spot where the messengers found Him, for two whole days. I am lead to believe that she was more grieved than Martha at the Lord’s inability to answer her call of distress, as she had more faith and conviction than Martha did.

Notice that Mary chose to sit still in the house grieving, as she was hurt that the same Lord, whom she had loved with all that she had, had failed to love her back. My opinion is that she felt cheated of the Lord – a feeling that today’s Christians know all too well. She was certain that Jesus would never let anything

Mary anointed His feet with ointment and wiped His feet with her hair – John 11:2

He is also stating that it isn’t time for him to die yet, and so He can go without fear.

2. True

3. It certainly seems that Martha found out that Jesus was coming first, or that Mary didn’t really believe He would come because of the local unrest.

But when Martha says that she has seen him, Mary reacts.

I imagine that many would have similar reactions if told that Jesus was coming to visit by a stranger, but if a trusted friend said he is almost there, one would react strongly and immediately.

4. I think it has to do with his personal relationship with each

5. I have always felt that he groaned, not because of Mary, but the Jews that followed her. It seems they were taking great pains to keep His being there secret.
He does not go straight to the grave.
He does not go to Mary, but lets her come to him
The Diciples are worried enough that they think they are all going to be killed for this action.
And then all these Jews that were with Mary follow her and they are all crying.

I have always felt that he was upset a little because of the lack of faith these had and that they tagged along.