General

Women (and maybe men, too)

I’ve become more aware lately of how much most women are alike?or maybe I should say “how often women experience the same things.” Part of this awareness has come from reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. They don’t lump women into one stereotypical category, but they do point out certain things that tend to be in common.

By way of example, they mention that abandonment is most womens’ greatest core fear. I think on the surface, there are many exceptions to this, but at a deeper level, I’d suspect most women act out of this gut anxiety on a regular basis. These actions manifest themselves in many different ways, but they are frequently motivated by just a few common fears.

More anecdotally, I’ve been surprised at how often I’ve heard a woman express a fear or a feeling and immediately heard other women say, “You feel that way, too?” Usually there is a little bit of shock in this question. My co-worker, Dominique, was just telling Jamie, another lady, about how last night, her husband was in “a mood” and he wasn’t laughing at any of her jokes. She explained that when things get that way, she just makes more and more jokes to try to lighten the situation, but it doesn’t work and she feels bad. Jamie told her that her reaction is the same, and Dominique was shocked, I’d guess because Jamie usually seems very in control and not prone to desperate communication.

In the discussion group for the afore-mentioned “Captivating,” we’ve had tons of these experiences. A woman will say something and suddenly I feel like, “How does she know? I thought I was the only one who felt like that.” And I tend to think that I’m pretty different from most of the women there, too.

I think the most interesting thing about it is that the Eldredges suggest that our perceived “aloneness” is actually a very intentional tactic used by the devil to keep us seperated and fearful. It’s much less frightening once I realize that nearly every woman I know has experienced the same emotions and tendencies. Given that fact, I don’t find it at all hard to believe that someone who hates me would try to keep me from being connected to other women who would strengthen me.

How about you? Do you know what I’m talking about (whether you’re a guy or a girl)? Does this resonate at all?

© 2005 Something Epic.